Signed by Karen

Last Post

2010-09-25T22:54:00.001+08:00

Changes can be sweet, and sometimes bitter. I'm moving out of Blogspot and will be using Wordpress instead. After years of defending blogspot over wordpress, I have conceded and opened an account in Wordpress. Thanks to export-import features, I don't need to let go of my archives.

It's just like a bend in the road, a change in orientation but still going in the same direction. I'm still moving forward. See you there! :)

Karen says hello to her new home.

http://karensayshello.wordpress.com

Travel Light

2010-09-24T22:07:00.001+08:00

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Travel light. Take only the essentials, and be resourceful. Not everything you see and hear are needed in life. Take only the essentials, and use them well. Avoid bulky baggages filled with unnecessary anxieties and worries. The journey will have its own worries, and your essentials will be enough.

Travel light, travel happy.

Happy Goodness

2010-09-16T22:03:00.003+08:00

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The most honest way of touching a person's life is not knowing you're already doing that. And the paradoxical nature of it is that, we are humbled when they are able to appreciate us for it. But the most honest way of doing good, is when we actually mean it. Sometimes it is not in our intentions to be good, but we inadvertently do good. And we are rectified when a person thanks us for it, because we realize that we never really meant it. What if we start meaning to do good? To be heroic, such that we still try to do good even if it's already out of our convenience. Tough call, I know.

Ah, but it's always a happy attempt to fill the world with goodness. It's a little difficult, but it is always fruitful, even the seemingly futile attempts are. Nothing is wasted, that's the best thing about it.

Pass me by

2010-09-15T19:41:00.001+08:00

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Let all other things pass me by.

But let me not miss out on You.

I'm happy to see You passing by.

in the most ordinary circumstance

in nothing less than perfect timing.

In Love

2010-09-13T01:18:00.008+08:00

I am in love with Life. I think it's beautiful and it has so much more to it than what we already know. I love happiness because it's a universal force which physics has never adequately explained. I like randomness because it makes life more interesting, but that this has to be in moderation because duties and responsibilities call for order and predictability. I like being in the middle of the world, meeting different people, engaging in different sorts of conversation. I love my family and friends and trying to make them happy as well. But of course to keep my sanity, I save space for myself, where I could enjoy my own company and muse about life's beauty.

I am a medical student and little by little this kind of life is proving to me that toxicity and being busy are not excuses to miss life and all its splendor. I am an aspiring doctor, ~~but~~ and I also yearn for some creative work. I know these two will eventually be realized, and it's just a matter of time.

I love the basic elements of learning: to read, to write, to talk, and to listen. I love the whole spectrum of colors, in its subtlety and boldness, in its opacity and transparency. I like still photos and their play of shadow and light.

I could go on and on, blabbering about the things I love. Simply put, I am in love.

Good Morning

2010-09-12T09:32:00.001+08:00

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I have never woken up to a pleasant morning like this for the longest time. I woke up in the middle of a dream, which I couldn't remember anymore, but I know it was something pleasant. I wanted to sleep longer and have more of those peaceful dreams, but God was tugging me, and said He wanted to talk to me already. In my half open eyes, I talked with Him, and blabbered things I hope made some sense. Finally, I got my senses woken up little by little, and the beautiful morning is slowly rising to my horizon and I can't help but smile and thank God for this sweet surprise. I woke up to a reality sweeter than the dreams I had this morning.

I prayed for you this morning. :)

Questions

2010-09-11T22:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it's easier to search for an answer when you know what question you're trying to answer. Sometimes it's more difficult to look for the right question because you're simply lost. But let me begin with these two questions in mind:

What is important to you?

What makes you important?

The importance of our being --- have you really found yours?

The Mystery of Migraine

2010-09-10T15:39:00.001+08:00

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The mystery of migraine: it strikes as it pleases, its etiology is unknown, and it affects people's functionality in different extent.

I've been having episodes of migraine these past days. It's very untimely since it's taking too much time away from my studying (or blogging. hehe.) It's especially difficult when it strikes while I'm walking. Because it blurs my vision, it throbs and it feels like I'm about to pass out any moment. It feels like my brain's expanding as it throbs its way out of my cranium. Man. I wish this expansion has something to do with the studying I've been doing, but I highly doubt that. Please migraine, go away. Karen needs to study.

To Where You Are

2010-09-07T06:19:00.001+08:00

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To Where You Are
by Josh Groban

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are my
beloved dad
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
’cause you are my
beloved dad
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIAQCiMIEEQ

Of Grace and Balance

2010-08-30T10:41:00.003+08:00

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In her graceful fall we find acceptance

In complete surrender she has embraced a will

not of her own but of life less understood.

A wise man once said, charity is not merely in giving, but more in understanding. Everyone seeks to be understood. We are unhappy when we are ignored, unheard and taken for granted. And yet the soonest we stop to seek for understanding and start giving it, we realize how life can actually be brighter and more peaceful.

May we never find ill feelings for anyone who has faulted us. Instead, may it always be in understanding that we forgive. May we never feel righteous over people who make a fool of themselves. Instead, we realize what a bigger fool we are to feel righteous.

Oh, there could never be a sadder form of poverty, but that of poverty in understanding. A person who understands is wiser than the learned, is richer than a millionaire, and knows best how to love.

A Year and 12 Seconds

2010-08-29T01:43:00.002+08:00

A year and 12 seconds

I've shared dreams with you

A year and 12 minutes

I've laughed with you

A year and 12 hours

I've prayed for your happiness

A year and always

I'll be by your side.

Stolen Time

2010-08-25T23:49:00.002+08:00

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Lulling. In the middle of my routinely night studies, I thought of sneak peeking into my introspective thoughts and share it to whoever is around.

There's an unknown etiology to my happiness today. There were little instances that made me sustain my smile a little longer, but I knew there was something more about today. This is probably an internal force of happiness pulling me inward and at the same time pushing me outward to share this happiness with people. (Yes, You. thank You, God.)

Today marked a busy day for me. Everything i need to do today has to be put on an alarm or sticky-noted just so I remember. But even the notes I put on alarm are still forgotten.

Today I thought I should make a new reminder for myself, that's to be happy and to make other people happy.

Making happiness a habit, one day at a time.

Happy Thoughts

2010-08-23T02:37:00.000+08:00

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They come in snippets
They come in thought
They trickle from my heart to yours

Sometimes you get yourself in a state of unbelievable happiness, and you're left with nothing but a grateful heart.

What made you happy today?

To you who made it

2010-08-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

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I'm so proud of you Alric :) More opportunities have opened for you, and I pray that you choose well, that you do well, and that love be your foremost motivation to be accomplished.

Nightsky

2010-08-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

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Stars are falling one by one

but you and I will remain

holding up above,
lighted and twinkling
in the clear night sky

Forward!

2010-08-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

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I'm trying to make time keep up with my pace, but it's only pulling me forward as it ticks. Walking at my pace is just not going to make it. Run, Karen, run.

Order

2010-08-07T18:12:00.000+08:00

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When things are back in order, thoughts in my head flow better, words come out nicely, and I am able to love more consciously.

It's always nice to know what you're doing, to own your actions and to mean every word you say.

365 hello's

2010-07-17T12:26:00.000+08:00

It starts a conversation, a relationship and love. 365 hello's... and counting.

Too Few Words

2010-07-12T19:58:00.001+08:00

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The pages are turning on its own, and the story is moving forward without the storyteller. The past days have been pretty busy that I can barely get some time to sit down and share some thoughts in this space. My recent entries have only been few short breaths I was able to spare from a very squeezed day. Nonetheless, God has been good. Most moments were snippets of happiness, like they were sneak preview of the next big thing.

Hello there.

On Your Birthday

2010-07-11T01:27:00.002+08:00

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This is how I felt yesterday. Because I missed you, and I wish I could spend the day with you. I love you, Dad. :) Happy birthday!

Truth is, this was me on your birthday because I spent the day studying for an upcoming exam.

Short Walk

2010-07-04T16:41:00.001+08:00

Photo by Alric Mondragon

No one really knows what's at the end of the hallway, but nothing's stopping us from finding out. Ready?

Like Kings and Queens

2010-07-03T16:44:00.002+08:00

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We are dignified like kings and queens.
We are respected like we're majesty.
We defend our throne, our seat of freedom
With strength of character as our very army.
We live like real kings and queens
with no servants but ourselves.

Being Different

2010-07-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

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We want to be different. We want to make our own mark. And we want to be distinguished from the rest. To do that, sometimes we think too out of the box. And yes, sometimes it catches other's attention, and more often, only for few sweet seconds do we get their attention.

Avant-garde. Not too many get close to being avant-garde. So many of us still try to make our own avant-garde character. However, bell curve shows most of us still fall in the ordinary taste, the common, the popular, the mainstream. Who, then, are the real avant-garde people? They're the outliers. They probably don't even know they have that character.

Inside of the box. With more people trying to think too out of the box, wouldn't it be more different now to think inside the box? I've peeked into the box, and I see a lot of interesting ordinariness. I think, the ordinary is getting less and less explored that we become unfamiliar to it.

And while we put so much effort in trying to be different, are we making an effort to make a difference?

Come with Me

2010-06-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

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It's not an easy trail, but we will get there. Slowly, but surely, we will get to our goal. In the meantime, let's enjoy this one-step-at-a-time journey.

Perfect Time

2010-06-17T11:11:00.000+08:00

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I had a longer lunch time yesterday, and it was pretty much the perfect time for me to have a power nap since I've been wanting to have one. But my friend needed me, and I guess, it was a more perfect time to be a friend than to be dreaming senselessly.

Summer Waves

2010-06-04T20:12:00.003+08:00

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Three days left till I finally say goodbye to summer. Rainy season has already found its way to where I am. Now, it's time to pull out my umbrella and jacket out of my closet.

Wow. It's been more than a summer break, it was the much needed retreat I longed for after 10 months of battling in my academic adjustment. As I slowly approach my way to second year med proper, I realize there's only little room for adjustment because things should be pretty much settled by now. In a few days' time, I'll be buried under my books again as I let my skin tone get back to its lighter tone. Series of hello's: hello med books, hello classmates (old and new), hello professors.

Goodbye summer waves, hello Manila's wavy flood.

Creativity

2010-05-31T23:43:00.001+08:00

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Oh yes, it does. No creativity's coming out of my brain for the past days. I need some creativity in my life. Have I been too coward lately? Summer break's about to end, and I haven't dipped my fingers to any colored paint yet. I better get my hands a little dirty with a bunch of happy colors before the coming school year sucks it out of me again.

Happy colors on my hands please. :)

It's about time

2010-05-24T16:50:00.006+08:00

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In the grown-up world, they deal with money, investments, and legality of all things. Papers and contracts have to be signed, and all things important have to be kept in a safe. In the grown-up world, it isn't just about freedom and independence, but more importantly knowing that you are accountable for what you are doing. In the grown-up world, you have to know how to deal with people professionally, clear-headed and calm, because chances are you'll get to nowhere if you let your emotions run you down. In the grown-up world, there are more things that have to be dealt with seriously because the consequences are far too great, and it doesn't just concern you, but the people around you.

I've always thought the grown-up world is too scary. I've always thought responsibilities beyond homeworks and academic responsibilities are too serious and heavy enough to weigh down one's disposition in life. Adults speak in a jargon that's difficult to understand if you're not in the know. Adults can do so much to you if you don't know what you are doing. But I also realized, in the grown-up world there are those who disguise themselves to be mature people in number and in age, but in actions, they're not. I realized there really is nothing to be scared about in their world, because as long as you keep yourself informed and be guided with respect, you will get yourself fairly well through their world.

Things I learned in their world:
1. It's okay to ask questions, you just have to know the right people to ask these questions to.
2. Always be informed to counter those poser adults who only know to take advantage of people in their ignorance.
3. Be confident. Age has nothing to do with confidence. Rather, it comes from the fact that you know something.

In the grown-up world, people can be far too serious with their work. I realized to smile, to laugh, to be charitable to these grumpy people are the things they miss from their childhood days. It's good to remind them of these because it helps them to go back, that hey, they once had a happy life.

Cheer up, you grumpy old people. And stop taking advantage of people you think are ignorant of what their doing... that's just so childish.

Fly Me to the Moon

2010-05-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

Photo by Luis Liwanag

Because the moon tonight has been lovely and smiling, I'd like to fly to the moon and feel its happiness. I wonder what makes the night sky so happy tonight. I wonder what beauty it sees in the universe to make it smile so lovely tonight. Is it because of Venus so near to it that gives a smile of sublime beauty?

Happy night, happy sky. :) I hope your night is a happy one, too.

In a little while

2010-05-16T12:47:00.000+08:00

When the current goes crazy, a good pause will do. Get off the river, and see how it slowly calms itself. The river can go on without us, so it's up to us if we want to continue on with our travel. Look at where the river is going. Is it still where we envisioned ourselves to be?

We could float on with the current, but in the riverbends we'll have to direct our rafts better. There will be more bends to conquer along the way, but it will certainly get us to the end. We won't lose our way, as long as we're certain with what we want.

In a little while I'll be getting on the raft again. Are you coming with me? In a little while we'll be on the next bend. Are we ready for it?

Infinitely Defined

2010-05-11T22:21:00.002+08:00

Dear God,
In the best effort that I live each day for you, you have given me experiences and opportunities, both mundane and significant, to understand what you wish to tell me. I'm starting to see that each day is like a postcard with your message in it. I wake up in the morning, rush to my letterbox, and see a postcard waiting to be appreciated and read. Each day is a postcard from you. :)

At times I would care to appreciate your postcard, but more often than not, I just read and look at it without much thought --- like those days that have gone by without noticing you so much. And yes, I might have missed on a lot of sweet nothings from you already. Those postcards, which I failed to keep in my memory box, are already lost in the past without a chance to be appreciated better.

From now on, I should ask myself towards the end of the day, what are you telling me with all these? What's my postcard today all about? Thank you for the postcards, God. I think I will reply to one of your postcards soon.

Love,
Karen

Who Killed Who?

2010-05-11T10:16:00.000+08:00

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If Serif's dead, who's next?

Gaudium cum Pace

2010-05-10T20:34:00.007+08:00

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Never have I ~~sought for~~ thought of happiness in this way before. I have long fascinated myself over the idea of happiness and how it is found, but I only came to realize that happiness is not sought for its own sake.

At first there were the simple things that made me happy as a little girl. Being able to draw, color, play with my friends, watch the television and read books were the simple things I enjoyed doing. Grades and achievements have made me happy as well. Until disappointments one by one introduced themselves to me. Then, it became harder for me to just hold on to simple things that made me happy.

I don't like disappointments, (well, who does?) but my decision to be happy kept me well and... happy. From this, I have proven to myself what others would say, happiness is a decision.

For a relatively long and uneventful time, I have kept myself happy such that people say I'm a sunny person who never had a gray cloud hover her head. Major failure in exams, trying times in the family, and even death of a loved one, never stopped me from having a positive outlook in life. Wow, what strength, you might say. And yes, even I am overwhelmed by how God led me through these trials in my life. From this, I realized, happiness is not just a mere decision, but allowing God himself to make me happy by abandoning myself to Him in times of trouble.

But what else can I do to be happy? A wise man told me: think of the others. He told me, that when I think of the others, all my problems will go away, because the only concern I will be left with are the concerns of the others. And well, he said it like it was magical. To me, anything that makes its own vanishing act that's unexplainable is like magic. But the wisdom to his teaching is nothing magical. Rather, the wisdom to his teaching lies in the very idea of love.

Happiness is not sought for, it is merely a consequence of doing good out of love. I realized, to think of the others is what will lead me to my gaudium cum pace. I realized that only with love will I be able to seek for the Good, and only true good will give the consequence, joy with peace. And when this happens, when you're able to love unselfishly, happiness comes with peace.

No

2010-05-10T15:16:00.001+08:00

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It takes humility to receive a no
It takes humility to say yes despite all the odds
It takes lack of pride to be pathetic
But lack of pride does not necessarily mean humility.

It takes wisdom and courage to stop being pathetic.

Today said I love you

2010-05-06T11:34:00.002+08:00

Photoshare

Today said I love you

to her dearest Tomorrow

But the two could never meet

not until they're both in the past

Humor Me

2010-05-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

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I love it :)

Poof

2010-05-03T10:35:00.000+08:00

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Oh great Poofer, please don't burst my bubble today! :)

Look Up

2010-05-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

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And I look up as I try to search for answers. Unexpectedly, Your blessings came in pouring without ceasing. You caught me again with a beautiful surprise. :)

Quaint and Beautiful.

2010-04-30T11:05:00.000+08:00

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Sometimes I just want to be so small so I could see the world at large. There's less chance to appreciate the bigger picture, but better chance to appreciate the little things.

A Distant Memory

2010-04-29T18:53:00.002+08:00

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It's a distant memory of you and I walking by the sea shore, as you air out some of your frustrations in life. It was a starless night, and the moon was full and bright. We walked around to be acquainted with the place a little, knowing that we were there just to pass the night. I wanted to walk around and see the place, and I forced you to walk with me. You were being sentimental, as I was being happily naive with my own concerns.

You're my dad. Back then, I didn't really have that concept of being close with you because I was in the bubble of my adolescence. Little did I know that losing you would actually make me appreciate better those significant moments I had with you. How you trusted me with these thoughts back then, how you actually thought of expressing your sentiments to me back then. It's about time that you hear mine, as if we're walking by the sea shore in the starless night again. Talk to you later.

Comic Strip No. 9

2010-04-28T09:17:00.002+08:00

Calvin and Hobbes

By Bill Watterson

Imagination is a best friend when one is bored. :)

Oh, Summer

2010-04-26T23:35:00.001+08:00

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Where art thou?

7th Heaven

2010-04-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

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As what they would say, I could actually die now and go to heaven, after coming from a retreat. Oh, but as the minutes go by, my chances of getting sure ticket to heaven is decreasing, and from the priority list, i'm slowly starting to go back to being waitlisted.

Hello, earth dwellers. Happy to see you! :)

Happy Leaves

2010-04-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

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Autumn :) Fine, I know it's summer, but these lovely colors are irresistible.

Come Fly Away With Me

2010-04-18T18:41:00.002+08:00

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Come fly away with me
and we'll change the color of the sky
to green, yellow, orange and pink
Come float away with me
and we'll change the color of the sea
to teal, turquoise with a hint of gold
Come away with me
and we'll be in colors we've always wanted
in spring and autumn colors
in summer and winter hues

Oh, Travel.

2010-04-17T10:51:00.001+08:00

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I will travel to see the world. Not now, though. There's been too many hindrances to this travel. For instance, Iceland volcano eruption, which has stopped all flights going to and out of Europe. Earthquake in China has really shaken the country and it wouldn't be too welcoming. And the political dispute in Kyrgyztan has divided the nation where a lot of civilian supporters are getting killed. Poland has been mourning for the death of its leaders and prominent figures who died in a plane crash. It would only be a mourning and somber travel. There's just too many things happening in the world. But we all know these are not the very hindrances to my travel. It's time and resources to spare that I don't have.

For now, I have the whole world in my fingertips, as I surf through the internet, as I change the channel in our cable TV, as I read through magazines and newspaper. For now, the world has got me, but pretty soon, I, too, will conquer the world.

Summer!

2010-04-11T21:27:00.001+08:00

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"I like the color blue and green

and everything in between." (avm)

Hello, Summer!

Only Because

2010-04-10T09:27:00.003+08:00

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...we think far ahead of what's present, that we fail to enjoy our supposedly happy moments. I just think the saddest fear there is is the fear to be happy. That's just depressing in all aspects. So, stop worrying about tomorrow! How about living today like it's the greatest blessing you will ever receive?

Happy heart :)

Of Letting Go

2010-04-09T17:07:00.000+08:00

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Of things we hold on to because of uncertainties
Of thoughts we can't let go even if they give us anxieties
Of people who break us in carelessness
Of goals that gave us restlessness,
Let go.

It will always be difficult to let go, but let the burgeoning tomorrow inspire us to look beyond what we have at present. Uncertainties will always thrive in itself, but don't let its presence hinder us from exploring the unknown.

Beautiful End

2010-04-04T01:27:00.005+08:00

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They say there are no coincidences, that the amusing circumstances where two events take place at the same time or one after another is a meaningful design. It may not be easily understood, but it's something one could appreciate after some thought.

Today is Easter Sunday, and so is my Dad's 2nd death anniversary. It's not very easy for me to integrate these two important events of the day in a blog entry, but here goes...
-----------

Soon as the visitors left, I went to sit on your bed. I got my exam reviewers back, and had a futile attempt to review. I could not understand anything from what I was reading because it had already been a tiring night. But I held on with my review as I also held on to your hand. It was the perfect excuse to stay up late. Truth was I had no intention of sleeping that night. But my exhaustion got the better of me, my eyes grew heavy, and I fell asleep still holding your hand.

That was our last moment together. I would have wanted my memory to end there, but like in most instances in life, we wait to experience some bitterness in order to let a beautiful end to flourish.

I was awakened by your hand shaking. You were already having seizure. Immediately I looked at the time, it was around 4 in the morning. And from that time on, your vital signs slowly declined. Even as your eyes were closed, and still having seizure, tears fell from your eyes. Then your head tilted as if to give in to sleep, and soon enough you were no longer struggling, but looked very much like a child peacefully sleeping. Songs of prayers resounded in the room. It was around 8am when you expired. The beautiful end was to see you die in peace. You made it, Dad.

I have long understood the meaning of death, and I have accepted well enough your death, Dad. But this understanding and acceptance has not exempted me from helplessly missing you. I still find myself asking from time to time, 'Are you still here, Dad? Or are you just at work / abroad, and that very soon I will welcome you by the door as you get home?' But truth never fails to dawn on me with the bittersweet thought, I can only go as far as keeping you in my heart.

The bitter part is already done, and the beautiful end has already unfolded. God had not died only to end things in bitter grief. He has resurrected in order to give Life, and this is the very reason why each of us has a chance to have our own beautiful end.

To Pope

2010-04-03T09:22:00.004+08:00

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It's hard not to say anything about it.

While the rest of the Christian community experience in their own way being one with the Passion of Christ, the Pope himself experiences collective violence from the verbal attacks of both Catholics and non-Catholics.

Why are they doing this? I understand their indignation towards injustice and the lack of morality of sexual abuse. But it's simply unfathomable to regard you as not concerned about this issue, much more to accuse you of doing a cover-up of these issues, both old and recent. You're a public figure, but they don't know you enough, nor our faith. Or maybe, they simply wish to be stubborn about this because creating this issue gives them a sense of righteousness. Indeed, it's a paradox to have the head figure of the Church tolerate sexual abuse of children by priests. But it's an overly magnified issue in the most distorted fashion and from the most inappropriate angle. You have been put in a position in which whatever action you take, or words you express will be taken against you, always in different meaning and interpretation. Whether you act in the virtue of prudence, or in the virtue of daringness, you sit at a throne where a lot of people would want to cast the first stone, and everything you do will be taken against you. And yet you never sowed hatred. And yet, forgiveness and understanding is still your foremost defense.

I cannot imagine the hurt you're going through right now, more so, your unrelenting forgiveness of these attacks. Know that I am with you through prayers.

Your daughter,
Karen

Wake Up

2010-04-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

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Oh, it's not going to be very easy to follow a note such as this, especially if it's on a sticky note. Unless, maybe, if it "sticks" on your dreams. Warning: there won't be any snooze for this.

Ah, but its simplicity speaks of its straightforwardness. I guess some circumstances do not need a lot of elaboration or loud alarms, but just the simple reminder, wake up.

Crowd

2010-04-01T20:40:00.001+08:00

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He looked at me among a crowd of believers. And in his loving gaze, he wanted me to know that I have nothing to worry. Everything is in his hands now. Abandonment, that's what he's been saying with his hands stretched out before me.

In the most ordinary circumstances of the day, you call upon me to give a little sacrifice, to be with you in your passion, share a little in the cross you carry. And what is this compared to the much suffering you endured out of your love for me, out of your great love for mankind.

Immunity

2010-03-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

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Walking like I have immunity...

Grace

2010-03-29T21:31:00.001+08:00

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Let peace take over where grace abounds.
Let grace be abundant for the soul in love.
Let love overwhelm the heart of the pure.
Let purity be a gift to the selfless being.

Alric in Wonderland

2010-03-28T01:14:00.003+08:00

1,2,3, smile!

You literally have made a lot of people smile, Alric.

Because you're gifted with that as a photographer.

With your camera, you have the power to make

people smile, to capture this, and to preserve this

for as long as it can last. Hoping that in the passing

of time these photos will bring them again to a lovely smile.

You do well in making people happy, both on-cam

and off-cam. I would know 'cau se you have
already made me happy a thousand and one times.
Happy birthday, Alric! You deserve a Wonderland.

Big Fish

2010-03-23T17:15:00.001+08:00

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Remember that if you're stubborn about growing up and moving on, sooner or later you will get yourself suffocated and many others will be displaced because of your immaturity. Grow up, and move on. There's a much bigger sea for you out there. A little fish bowl, no matter how quaint, might just not be for you. Go on, big fish. Swim your way to the sea.

Surface Thoughts

2010-03-22T21:49:00.000+08:00

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We're about to end our research. Few more days and we'll be presenting it before a panel of doctors. I will miss feeding the chickens (not). I will miss cleaning their poop trays and cages (not). I will miss weighing their feeds (not). Ah, but this week will be my last chance to do these things with them, and I just can't wait to get this research over.

With all the rants poured out because of what stress this research has brought over, it's time to thank the people who helped me hold on and understand things I can't easily understand, be it research or non-research related. Thank you, researchmates. You know who you are. I will miss our work sessions together (definitely). See you around. :)

Photosource

Egg party, anyone?

Circus Life II

2010-03-20T20:25:00.000+08:00

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But even the unexpected happens in a circus life. A kid drops his lollipop and cries, a mother worries for losing her daughter in the mad crowd of the lion show, a man is turned down in his wedding proposal, and even Mr. Clown cannot escape sadness and tears.

On stage or after the show, life goes on as it pleases. Given a set of choices, we feel empowered to be in such control. But something will always get the better of us. Just when we are left unguarded, just when we are at our most vulnerable state, we experience a situation that pulls us down beyond our imagination. We grimace at the thought of its unexpectedness, and we let ourselves cry. We can dwell on it, wallow in it, and simply sulk, but we could also shrug it off, thinking tomorrow will be a new opening. Same old show, in a different day, but just maybe, the sun will rise from a different pole, and we see a new horizon for the things we hope for.

Circus Life I

2010-03-19T21:37:00.002+08:00

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It's amusing. With all the noise, colors and different lights around, you can never get enough stimuli for your senses.

We are amused by their unlikeliness, by their veering away from what's ordinary. And sometimes, we are already annoyed by its unsightliness, but we'd rather be amused by its peculiarity.

And since we brought ourselves into this circus life, where we expect nothing but oddities, we just laugh and jeer with the rest of the audience as if we're really amused, as if we're liking what we see. Oh, the simple and stupid joys in life.

Stealth Mode

2010-03-14T10:18:00.002+08:00

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Today I walk in stealth.
As if I'm not seen nor felt.
Speaking only as needed.

Sorting out my thoughts in anonymity,
today I'm just a face in the crowd.
You don't recognize me.

Non-Entry

2010-03-13T00:36:00.001+08:00

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It's already been quite a long blogging silence, and today I just want to break that silence. It's not that I had nothing to say. On the contrary, there were too many things to say, but too little time to filter them. But maybe in summary, the past days have been like a gummy worm, both sweet and sour, takes time to chew, but you never run out of creative ways to eat it.

I'm still chewing as of this moment, trying to digest what has happened these past days, but with all this retrospection and musing, I try not to let myself engulfed with brooding. A couple of good laughs are part of my self-prescribed medication, and so life is only as serious as a little kid takes seriously his handful of gummy worms.

Chance

2010-03-06T19:22:00.000+08:00

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There's always a choice, even over things that seem to have no choice.

We are not slaves by chance, but by choice.

Are You Happy?

2010-02-28T01:31:00.001+08:00

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I am.

I Am Free

2010-02-25T18:55:00.009+08:00

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There is nothing rigid when you fight for truth. There is nothing rigid when you simply aim for higher love. It is only rigid when it already hampers my or someone else's freedom. Values and principles are not to be compromised but to be lived freely and cheerfully. And none of these implies rigidity.

To live by my principles necessitates bias, but never discrimination. To believe in something is a given bias, but it should not stop one from being objective when faced with arguments. These principles are not chosen merely out of whim. Rather, they are lived and fought for because of logical reasons and realizations one arrives at.

To uphold truth and goodness may call for sacrifice and some things to be compromised, but it should never be a cause of imprisonment. To live by these principles may contradict another person's belief, but this never wants disunity. It simply needs understanding and more importantly, respect.

Respect begets respect.

------

I am Catholic. And even now that I am not yet a full-fledged doctor, I am willing and ready to give informed choices to patients and other people who will ask me about contraceptives, be it artificial or natural family planning. To live by my principles, should never be in the way of another person's freedom and right. To be an advocate of life and natural family planning should never necessitate withholding information that is rightfully theirs. If, as I claim, I am fighting for an objective truth, then I would be guilty of hypocrisy if I am to lie before my patients and keep information from them.

Detachment

2010-02-22T09:28:00.003+08:00

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There is a natural reaction among us that when we think we found treasure, we hold on to it as if we could never let go. This is one way of showing importance to what we have. But this holding on would also mean sacrificing other things we could not hold on to anymore, because our hands are no longer free to take a hold of these other things. This is where the disorder comes in. When our hands have nothing else but this "treasure" we found.

Cliché dictates that when we love something, we must learn to let go. This letting go is not about giving up, but all about detachment. When there is security and order in love and life, there is no need to hold on to it like you fear so much of losing it. There is always a risk of losing it, but a greater risk when we become selfish of it, and it will only be dysfunctional to live in such fear. Detachment is not a sign of lack of love, but a sign of order among things you love so much.

Twenty-Two

2010-02-18T11:15:00.001+08:00

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It's a Happy Birthday!

Refresh

2010-02-16T14:47:00.003+08:00

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I could already feel the summer heat. But I would have to condition myself that I'm still in a school setting and still in my serious study mode. No to summer thoughts yet, so no to these summer disillusions.

Ah, but it would be lovely to think of ways to make a good ending to my first year as a medical student. My first year bucket list.

1. Bring baon for one week, no buying of lunch/merienda in school or outside school.
2. Finish assigned chapters for an exam (I know, I know, this should have been a given already)
3. Take down notes as if you're the transcriber for every class.
4. Do something random to random people on a random day.
5. Treat someone to an ice cream. :)
6. Be able to list down my most significant learnings for this year, both academic and non-academic learning.
7. Go on a videoke. haha

I know some of them sound like resolutions that should be made at the start of the school year, but I don't think I should wait for June before I start on one of them.

Death

2010-02-14T09:28:00.001+08:00

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..is no magic.

The life of a being disappears before our eyes. We palpate and feel no more beating, we auscultate and hear no more rhythm. The body seems to have nothing left but just traces of what we saw and what we once lived with, that happy and cheerful soul that always greeted us in amazement. Our memory has just started to fill in the gap.

I start to ignore the lack of response, movement and subtle signs of life in this person. I sustain my belief that this person has not left me, but has just fallen asleep. Everything seems to fit my cognition, because this is just how I saw him when he falls asleep --- as if he carries with him in his dreams the wonderful thoughts he had during his wakeful hours --- peace and serenity. But reality sinks in, he is already in his wakeful state where he has started to live his dreams, and while I, left here, still dream of living the life I desire.

That same soul sees me, and looks at me, as if to wonder why I sorrow. He looks as if he wanted to make me forget about sorrow. That in his better understanding, he wanted me to experience not just ephemeral joy, but eternal happiness.

If life is a miracle, how do you beg to differ?
I am not the opposite of life. Just as indifference, and not hatred is the opposite of love. I am merely a transit point, an experience that will only happen once, and never again.

With death, comes life, with death, comes a miracle. Death is no magic, but a miracle gravely misunderstood.

Dare

2010-02-09T07:37:00.001+08:00

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"Dude, the camera's over here."

Sometimes, it doesn't even matter anymore if you're defying social norms. You just know you have to be grounded and fight for your stand --- even if it means turning your back on the group.

In Quiet

2010-02-07T14:36:00.003+08:00

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Solitude.

I see your true colors

2010-02-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

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Maybe it's not really a total makeover that you need.

Maybe you've had it with you all this time.

Maybe it's just waiting to be exposed.

Ah... they're beautiful colors.

I already see them.

Lovely. :)

The Endless Pursuit

2010-01-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

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A representation of our simplistic outlook on happiness.

The danger is when one perceives happiness in view of pleasure.

Happiness can never be an addiction.

Wit

2010-01-24T21:08:00.007+08:00

I was composed when I watched this film, but it moved me a thousand times more than any other movie I have seen. This is a poem quoted throughout the movie:

Death, be not proud

by John Donne
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee;
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Chiaroscuro

2010-01-21T20:56:00.002+08:00

Let shadows flail and wail in burrow

Let light float above the foreground shadow

Let shadows thin out in the grief of midnight sonnet

Let light dance in ballet with a beautiful pirouette.

Brain

2010-01-18T21:06:00.003+08:00

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Because I need inspiration for my Neuro exam, I'm putting this as a reminder of how controversial Einstein's brain was. Before he died, he insisted that his brain be preserved and examined. Was it because he knew all along that he thought differently, or that his intellect was more than just an average mind? For years, it was said his brain was within the normal range of size and proportion. But later on, some findings surfaced that he had no parietal operculum. So what? I say, it was not enough to study his brain after he died. Maybe the difference in his brain lies in the neuronal connections he had, such that if it were studied under an fMRI, it might have shown how different his brain worked. Ahh..well, who am I to have a say on this, anyway? I'm merely a medical student attempting to do good in my grand-slam Neuro exams this week.

Agh. This topic is so interesting that my neurons are almost gasping for oxygen, trying to surface out their thoughts. But. The. Thought. Of. My. Neuro. Exam. Is. Forcing. Me. To. Stop. Typing. and just study.

Hi Albert Einstein, maybe you could drop by in one of my dreams tonight and wish me luck. That's if I will sleep at all.

(I wonder if Einstein ever crammed in his exams. ugh. Karen. Stop. Typing.)

I am Pro-Life

2010-01-17T23:37:00.001+08:00

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I think there's no way to say it but straightforwardly. I don't want to fall into the false virtue of human respect, where we sometimes fear of speaking our views just because others don't see it the way we do. I don't want to fall into false humility, wherein our tendency is to please as much people as we can. So here goes...

I am not for abortion, because it's murder, an act of killing a helpless being with the use of mechanical instruments, or through toxins in the form of pills. These abortifacients that are trying to disguise themselves as contraceptive pills are clearly abortifacients to me because it kills life; it stops conception, which is what defines the beginning of life. I am not for artificial contraceptives and condoms because they simply nurture selfish mentality of stopping life.

But when you speak of being pro-life, it's not supposed to end at what you're not for, but it should go beyond and be able to express what you are for. Being pro-life, after all, should be something positive, just as what life should be.

I am for responsible parenthood, wherein married couple agrees that practicality does not necessarily mean aiming for a life of comfort, but having that objective of providing appropriately without compromising one's virtues. I am for freedom and informed choice, where every couple is given all the right information, without bias perspective. I am hopeful that given the right information they will be able to discern the true good, and be able to choose it for themselves. I am for the overall progress of the country, where we are able to have manpower as the greater asset we could have more than the resources that our government officials are merely drowning themselves with. I am for life, a life that is true to what it means to be human; one that is faithful to our human nature.

I believe that the ideal is not very far from what is practical. That with a little self-knowledge, and a lot of self-mastery, the ideal could meet practicality. I believe that to aim for higher virtues should not be restrictive, rather, to live the virtues is to be free from ignorance and foolishness.

Life in a Bottle

2010-01-16T21:49:00.003+08:00

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ah... It's beautiful, I tell you --- to attempt to live in a perfect world, with simple but selfless worries. You forgo a little of your whim and extravagance, and you become content with the little but sufficient that you have. It's when you start to worry about the little things to keep up with your daily strife, but you end your day with the same optimism you had when you woke up in the morning. For a brief moment, you get trapped in your useless anxieties, but you get up, because you know there's no way to move ahead but to get up. And you also know that to fall into discouragement is the greatest defeat you don't ever have to experience in life. That no matter how seemingly the day's been wasted, you know that you've given that day at the very beginning, and that the whole day's no longer in your hands but in Him. Everything has already been offered up.

Serviam! Tomorrow will be a new day.

To The Audience

2010-01-11T06:51:00.001+08:00

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Tears fell from their eyes,

but we'd laugh just the same

as if everything's part of the show

because we, the audience

just didn't know.

we were naive to their sorrow.

we knew none of their fears

and we were laughing so hard

as they stood together

in each other's arms

To The Beginning

2010-01-05T01:00:00.001+08:00

Today marks the official start of my year 2010. I have changed my calendar already, and have started writing on my new planner. The start of the year is always a perfect time to make a macro scale of plans and resolutions. And these are the very things I did over the first few days of the year. Somehow, a rough looking back through the year allowed me to assess myself, see where I did best, and see where I failed most. It also allowed me to see how I changed, and in what points I remained the same.

In my head, I did some asking of how to do better, what to improve on, what to learn, what to change, how to change, and the whole shiz. And even if it seems like I have it all figured out, it's just not the same when I'm on it already. This is why today marks the official start of my year. Because today I enact one of my resolutions, and today I start to take my resolutions seriously. Yeah, seriously.

Three-hundred sixty-five days to go before the start of the following year. And three-hundred sixty-five days seem like a long time to work on improvement and becoming a better person, but three-hundred sixty-five days is long enough for me to forget my resolutions. Which brings me to my resolution of having daily beginnings, so that I would always be reminded of what I said I'd do. Each day there's a new resolution, but each day should lead me to my year-round resolution. In a cliché, it's living one day at a time, with one goal in mind. Daily beginnings... I'm starting to like the sound of it.

If new years are welcomed with a lot of noise the previous night, my daily beginnings would be welcomed with a quiet morning, much like an ordinary day, but quietly making an impact.

Good morning, world!

To 2009

2010-01-04T13:08:00.001+08:00

Here's a note of gratitude for everything that's happened between us. There is definitely so much to be thankful for, a handful of mishaps that I will have to amend, and a whole lot of good memories to turn back to when it's called for.

It was a year of adjustment from a family loss, to changes in academic atmosphere, to a new lifestyle, to new relationships, and to a sense of independence. My homeostasis was greatly disturbed by being in a different environment, but like the ripples that a stone makes on a body of water, it dissipates eventually.

Like the yellowing of this leaf, you meet your end to give way to year 2010. And like the green portion left on the tip of the leaf, you still linger to wait for your final closure. To the great learnings you have given me, to the trying character-building you've put me through, and to the little successes you've awarded me with --- thank you.

To you who found this

2009-12-30T01:25:00.001+08:00

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I'll stop the world and melt with you.

To Our Noble Ambitions

2009-12-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

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Why do we do what we do? We struggle to aim for something, but do we really know why we're doing this? We could have a lot of noble ambitions in life but what is our end goal, really?

Karen

To Stubborn Situations

2009-12-23T00:04:00.000+08:00

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In the beginning, it seems like a happy and playful experience to rock back and forth on a horse. But soon as you notice it's getting you nowhere, and you still keep on rocking back and forth, it frustrates you and you would want to leave and move forward. That's when you realize, time for the real horse now.

Rock ahead.

Karen

To Fables

2009-12-22T13:46:00.001+08:00

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We read and we listen,

we leaf through your pages.

In your simple world you speak of truth,
in her extravagant life, she speaks of beauty.

You are wisdom, and she is love.
She is popular, and you are barely known.

Is it not wisdom that we need
Are you not the words we need to hear?

You speak of a simple life,
Life in simple happiness and truth.

//karen

To A Couple

2009-12-20T13:47:00.000+08:00

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They looked beautiful,
smiling and dancing and in each other's arms.
The naturalness of how they look at each other
the happiness in the corners of their eyes and lips
every detail was captured, in black and white
in highlighted hues, and desaturated photos
without words, without motion.
in still, lighted and shadowed photos
they whispered things to each other,
and to the spectator, their love.

Karen

To Your Random Ways

2009-12-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

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In fragmented pieces you walk on the ramp.

In incomplete thoughts, you speak your words.

You act like you're certain, but aren't really.

In confusion, you laugh and walk away slowly.

Karen

To Your Unbelief

2009-12-15T02:11:00.000+08:00

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There is magic even in your state of disbelief. You are awed even if you show refusal to concede.

To You

2009-12-13T11:56:00.001+08:00

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Breakfast is always best experienced when shared. Have you eaten breakfast? I made one for us.

Karen

To Dad, on Christmas

2009-12-11T01:50:00.003+08:00

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Hi Dad! Christmas is nearing already, and you know what that means. You used to fear of the expenses made on this season, but not this year. You used to watch us hurry our preparation for Christmas, but maybe not so this year. This is not the first Christmas without you, and I don't think I can keep on counting the next of it without you. You know I never stopped missing you, it's just that, Christmas is a perfect excuse to voice out how much I miss you.

Anyway, may this year be as special as the ones we spent together. At the same time, may this year's Christmas be special in a way that it's uniquely ours, not just spent on reminiscing, but creating new memories together as a family.

This year's Christmas will be different because of the whole lot of new people I met, and with the few which I'll be happy to spend and wish a good Christmas with. And this year will be the first Christmas we'll spend away from home --- new sights, new taste, and a different Christmas breeze. The thought of it excites me already, but more than that, it's cherishing our being together as a family.

I know, I know. There really is no point trying to make you feel envious of what our Christmas celebration will be. I'm pretty sure yours is grand and utterly joyful. I guess all I want to say is, no matter how much we try spending Christmas differently, you will always take part in it, and you will always keep the family together.

We won't be home for Christmas... but so will you. I'll still wait for you, though.

Love you, Dad.

Your daughter,
Karen

P.S. I still have a Christmas wishlist to give to you. :)

To My Unnamed Friend

2009-12-03T01:35:00.006+08:00

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You probably won't think this is you, but read on, and I'm sure you'll understand what I'm talking about and realize this is you.

You're a person in search of greatness in other people, for this I'm sure you know how it feels to meet someone you deem to be great. For so long we've been talking about people and their wonderful capabilities and unrelenting principles. For a long time already, we've talked about people who are courageous and are out of the norm and are already living their dream. And now I wonder, why did it take me this long before I realize your own greatness?

You have no idea how this feels. It's a cognitive dissonance between feeling proud and feeling deceived. I feel deceived, because all this time that we talk of other people's greatness, you are already living your own greatness. But at the same time it leaves me a little pride that I am witnessing these and more of these unfolding right before me.

It was stupid of me to have asked you, why do you keep these things to yourself? You never intended to keep them in you, you were simply living it, without you thinking about it, without you being aware of it... you were simply on it. And it's up to the rest of us around you to discover these things in you little by little.

You're an irony. You hope of being great, when you already are. You admire other people's greatness, when you live like it doesn't really matter if you exude this greatness or not. You're simply you, and I guess that's what makes you genuinely great as a person.

Your friend,
Karen

P.S. The photo: may you as well fly above your own ocean. May you see where the sky and the ocean meet like there's no difference between them anymore.

To Today

2009-12-01T09:45:00.000+08:00

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I woke up with the wrong pair of socks today --- a happy-anxious feeling.

To Life

2009-11-28T15:38:00.002+08:00

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Are you still here out of love? Or are you, as well, steered down by love of comfort and greed? People have been seeking you out for their own good. They only think of the material and tangible consequences of their actions, without even considering its moral implications. It's scary, I tell you. We are slowly redefining both life and killing to their opposing poles. The importance of life is no longer inclined to the thought of giving life, but to get life we want for ourselves. The gravity of killing is desensitized by our so-called "medical concerns" and "women's rights", so much so, abortifacient pills are more of protective pills than toxic substances to life.

Man's greed for pleasure is feeding on a hedonistic society. We want pleasure without responsibility. We have taken out this pleasure out of its good context and time frame, because we want it for ourselves and we want it now. You are lived as if you're not time-bound anymore. People want everything now, at this instant. Have we already lost the concept of waiting?

Life used to thrive on values and virtues, but now, people are trying to prove we could have you without these virtues and values, such that a campaign arose: "There probably is no God, so stop worrying and enjoy life."

But not to worry, there are still a number of us ready to fight for you. What you truly are must be revealed, what beauty you possess must be simply lived.

To Mervyn

2009-11-28T12:24:00.001+08:00

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You are a person of simplicity, and it's always a delight to talk with you. You're not simpleminded but you manifest the simplicity of a child. You are like a lamppost to me, because you remind me that there is still living goodness in this world, and that not all people have lost their sense of right and wrong. You exemplify a true Christian spirit, where every simple work you do is done with a lot of love for Him.

To you, who cheerfully lives a Christian life, this post is for you.

Karen

To Maguindanao

2009-11-26T19:26:00.004+08:00

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No human expression is enough to be able to console you in your situation. There is a desolate panorama continuing to unfold before us. And as of yet, there is no certainty as to when this will end. We seek for hope, but somehow, this is overpowered by the situation's uncertainty and dire violence.

The number of massacred people, your people, is growing by the day. They buried them beneath you. They were tortured and buried, with fear and utmost sadness as the last expression in their faces. All these for some political rubbish that I still try to understand. There may be more of those massacred that are yet to be unearthed, but so is truth hidden and buried beneath mountain of lies.

Those of us who watch and wait thousands of miles away from the eye of the storm could sense the strong vibration of your fear. But know this, in times like this, when there seems to be no way to give direct help, the most heroic deed, maybe, is for us to be hopeful and believe that this too shall pass, as any other dark storms do. We could, as well, succumb to fear, but if we could be strong for you, then we will --- with a lot of hope through prayers.

Karen

P.S. Please send my condolences to the families of the victims.

To Brevs

2009-11-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

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To your sweet notes left secretly in my bag, thank you. Here's a can of crayons for you, maybe it has indigo in it to fill up your incomplete rainbow for me. Thanks for never failing to brighten up my day. :)

Karen

P.S. I saw a rainbow on my way home on the same day you gave that note to me. Did you see that, too?

To Sunday

2009-11-22T13:29:00.002+08:00

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I'm home today. You used to mean lazy day for the family. Back when dad was alive, I would wake up 10 in the morning and my dad would be cleaning his car already. The garage is all wet from the car wash and from watering his plants. I would smell the aroma of coffee, and the newspaper looks like it was already read 5 times cover to cover.

You're a special day because no one's in a hurry. My workaholic dad is home and not in a hurry to go to the hospital. Though it's your day, he'd still do his rounds and see if his patients are doing okay. Parking lot of the hospital is not even half-full as every doctor I know are with their family having family day. While we, the family, are waiting for my dad to finish his rounds or sometimes, chemotherapy. After which, we'd hear mass then to the mall, to watch a movie, do some grocery-shopping, or to just hang-out. And before we head home, we'd pass by the hospital again because my dad would say he forgot to do something or that one of his patients needs his attending. This was our idea of a family day: my dad's still working, but the family hops along his trip, and everyone else's errands are just secondary to his. Of course we were always grumpy about this, but in the end we were always happy to convince him to go to the mall with us.

Nowadays, you've become a little different for us. It's no longer a lazy day for us. Everyone is up by 8am, having breakfast, reading up for school, tidying the house, and getting ready for noon mass. I still smell the aroma of coffee, my mom never fails to brew for the both of us in the morning (she used to brew for herself and my dad). There's still newspaper, well, only if my brother's not lazy enough to buy one. There's not much routine anymore, every Sunday's pretty much different from another Sunday. By late afternoon or early evening, I'm already headed to Manila for school the next day.

The next day, I wake up, it's school again. My mom's not around, I don't hear the noise of the television anymore, but just the quiet morning slowly becoming noisy as the day sets in with the rest of the class. It's Monday. Nothing to hate about Monday, but she's just really different from you.

Monday's lovely, but sometimes I wish I could have more than 24 hours in your day. Can I have 7 Sundays a week? Wouldn't that be perfect? :)

Karen

To Your Effort

2009-11-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

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In your array of photos do you see a particular progress? Is it taking you anywhere, or are you just floating by life and allowing its course to take you wherever? If so, please say so and don't include me in your stop-stare-and-float game. I have plans and it's not helping me keep up with my schedule if I just go by the blowing of the wind, or the current of the river. This is taking me nowhere, I should go ahead --- against the current, if I must.

Karen

To Consciousness

2009-11-21T11:16:00.002+08:00

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Philosophers and scientists have been talking about you and are rather perturbed still with a lot of questions even up to present. Questioning you is just like questioning existence, yet there are a whole lot of fine elements concerning you that merely knowing existence can't just address.

The firing of ions and chemicals such as calcium, sodium, potassium and chloride, are as far and as minute as we could go to explain the decisions we make and the behavior we manifest. Yet, somehow, the idea of chemicals controlling the actions we make seems not to be enough for us to understand you and our being. How can mere chemicals enable our cognitive to have thoughts as basic as 'what do I want to eat right now?' to thoughts as profound as 'why are we even trying to explain consciousness and existence?' Are you simply controlled by these chemicals?

Many scientists have tried to locate in the brain where cognitive processes occur and where decisions are made. Recent discoveries have shown where intentions to act can be stimulated in the brain. Participants reported an urge to move a particular part of their bodies without necessarily enacting them.

...the brain has specific cortical circuits that, when triggered, are associated with sensations that arise in the course of wanting to initiate and then carry out a voluntary action. (Koch, 2009)

I think that this is a very valuable discovery and is a big leap to answering so much of our questions. However, knowing the mechanism of the brain is somehow still not enough to bring us peace of mind as to why we intend to do such things. I believe that our free will cannot be limited by mere chemicals and stimulation of the brain. Science can answer adequately the how of certain concepts, but it will always be short of response to our why questions.

There's a fishy idea with the thought of disregarding your metaphysical explanation. Some scientists find it uncomfortable to accept the idea of the soul in explaining you and free will. However, I believe that scientific explanations are there to support the metaphysical explanations. They are never and should not be opposing ideas, for they explain concepts at different levels, and are therefore expected to complement each other.

I don't have answers to some of their questions either, but I'm rather happy with both the scientific and metaphysical explanations there are at present.

Just so you know, I thought of you today.

Karen

To Lee-Ann

2009-11-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

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This post is for you, because you deserve it. You radiate with happiness and optimism, and these are only two of the many things why it's always a pleasure to be around you. You have an understanding that's more profound than anyone I know, and you make people happy in your little and simple ways. Lee-ann, you have no idea how thankful I am to God each day for giving me a friend like you. You embody a concrete proof of God's love for me. :) Thank you for being that gift to me.

If there's someone who knows how to create a trail of happiness, that would be you.

Take care always, friend :)

Karen